CLASS THREE
MICRO-YESES:
The Small Things That Build the Big Things
Welcome / Big Idea
Relationships often weaken not because of one major event, but because of hundreds of small missed moments.
A bid for connection is any small invitation for emotional closeness: a sigh, a pause, a glance, a short text, a comment like “Look at this” or “Are you busy?”
A micro-yes is the small response that turns toward the bid: eye contact, a gentle question, a brief touch, a smile, or even “I want to hear this—give me five minutes.”
Micro-yeses communicate:
You still matter here. Even on ordinary days.
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Class Structure
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3 Breakouts (8–10 minutes each)
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Teaching moments between breakouts
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15 total minutes of guided group discussion
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BREAKOUT 1 — Connection Icebreaker
Couples stand together anywhere in the room away from their seats.
Prompt:
Share one tiny moment this week that made you smile, even if it was small, ordinary, or silly.
Examples:
• Something funny your child or pet did
• A meal or snack that hit the spot
• A compliment or kind text
• A moment when you felt proud of yourself
Follow-up:
Why do you think that small moment hit you differently this week?
What emotion was underneath it—joy, relief, rest, pride, hope, ease?
Key truth:
Small moments often carry big emotional meaning.
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Teaching: The Wedding at Cana
Before the next breakout, we read Scripture together. This passage shows that God cares deeply about relationships and the everyday moments of a household.
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Scripture Reading
John 2:1–11 (ESV)
1 On the third day there was a wedding at Cana in Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there.
2 Jesus also was invited to the wedding with his disciples.
3 When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.”
4 And Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does this have to do with me? My hour has not yet come.”
5 His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”
6 Now there were six stone water jars there for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons.
7 Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water.” And they filled them up to the brim.
8 And he said to them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the feast.” So they took it.
9 When the master of the feast tasted the water now become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the master of the feast called the bridegroom
10 and said to him, “Everyone serves the good wine first, and when people have drunk freely, then the poor wine. But you have kept the good wine until now.”
11 This, the first of his signs, Jesus did at Cana in Galilee, and manifested his glory. And his disciples believed in him.
Illumination:
Jesus’ first miracle took place inside a marriage celebration, showing that God cares about relationships as much as rituals.
The stone jars symbolized human purification; turning them into wine signaled that joy and renewal now come through Jesus rather than human effort.
The miracle began not with spectacle but with small obedience—filling jars and serving water—reminding us that small yeses unlock big transformation.
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BREAKOUT 2 — Notice the Bid → Micro-Yes
Couples stand again anywhere away from their seats.
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Prompt:
Share a moment recently when you were hoping for connection, even if you didn’t say anything directly.
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Examples of bids:
• A sigh while doing dishes
• “Look at this”
• A short text
• Lingering in a doorway
• Becoming quiet
• Sitting next to your partner without speaking
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Follow-up questions:
What emotion was underneath that bid? (lonely, overwhelmed, proud, insecure, tired, discouraged)
What would a tiny response—a micro-yes—have looked like in that moment?
Key truth:
Disconnection is most often the result of unnoticed bids, not dramatic conflict.
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Teaching: Supporting Scriptures
These verses help shape the posture that allows micro-yeses to thrive.
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Ephesians 5:21 (ESV)
“Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
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Illumination:
This is a call to mutual self-giving, modeled after the way Christ loves.
We honor one another not because the other always earns it, but because Christ always deserves it.
Using strength to serve is the heart of biblical submission.
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Philippians 2:3–4 (ESV)
“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
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Illumination:
Paul overturns the cultural obsession with status and teaches that true greatness is humility in action.
Humility does not erase self; it elevates the value of the other’s inner world.
Love pays attention.
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Proverbs 15:1 (ESV)
“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
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Illumination:
Tone protects the relationship even when the topic is difficult.
Gentleness is strategic wisdom that preserves connection.
A soft start keeps the nervous system open to honesty.
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BREAKOUT 3 — Soft Start → Strong Finish
Couples stand together anywhere away from their seats.
Prompt:
Each partner practices one soft-start sentence:
“I feel ___ and need ___; could we try ___?”
Examples:
“I feel overwhelmed and need structure; could we try planning Sundays together?”
“I feel disconnected and need time; could we try ten minutes before phones tonight?”
“I feel anxious and need clarity; could we try confirming plans the night before?”
“I feel unseen and need encouragement; could we try one positive sentence before bed?”
Follow-up:
How did that sentence feel in your body?
What posture or tone from your partner helps you stay open when a conversation is difficult?
Key truth:
A gentle beginning protects connection long enough for truth to be shared.
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Final Discussion (10 minutes)
• What did you learn tonight about how your partner expresses connection?
• What small yes matters most to you this week?
• What helps you remember to catch bids rather than miss them?
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Closing Blessing
Jesus, teach us to notice bids, respond with tenderness, and protect connection with small daily yeses.
Shape our tone, our posture, and our habits of attention.
Help us love well in the ordinary moments that build a life of trust.