CLASS TWO GUIDE
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LOCATE THE HEART
Rediscovering the Inner World of the Person God Entrusted to You
INTRO TEACHING
Before we learn any marriage skills, we begin with love — real love, the kind 1 Corinthians 13 describes.
There is a version of marriage where two people live together, serve together, raise children together… yet emotionally miss each other entirely.
That is sounding-brass love — noisy, impressive, empty underneath.
Real love flows from identity, not performance.
Loved people love well.
Secure people listen well.
Rested souls offer patience.
People rooted in Christ don’t need to win; they need to love.
Locate the Heart is not a communication trick.
It is discipleship — aligning your inner world with God so you can love from overflow, not exhaustion.
SCRIPTURE FOUNDATION
Proverbs 20:5
The heart is deep water; real understanding draws it out.
Psalm 139:1–3
God knows your inner world intimately and compassionately.
Romans 12:2
Transformation is a renewing work — ongoing and alive.
1 Peter 3:8
Unity, sympathy, tenderness, humility — the posture of a soft and safe marriage.
1 Corinthians 13
Love without depth becomes noise.
Love rooted in God becomes connection.
THE THREE PILLARS OF LOCATING THE HEART
Pillar 1 — Your Partner Has a Past That Still Lives in Them
Everyone carries messages, wounds, and patterns from childhood that shape reactions, stress responses, emotional wiring, trust, and vulnerability.
Breakout Questions
What childhood message still affects me?
Where did I learn my approach to conflict or stress?
What part of my past do I want you to understand?
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Pillar 2 — Your Partner Has a Story They Are Still Interpreting
People live between “who I was” and “who God is forming me into.”
Breakout Questions
What part of a past identity still tugs on me?
What expectation from an old season still shapes me?
Where am I stuck between old and new?
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Pillar 3 — Your Partner Has Quiet Hopes & Quiet Hurts
Everyone carries dreams they’re afraid to say, fears they don’t know how to name, longings that feel fragile, and pain they manage alone.
Breakout Questions
What dream am I holding quietly?
What fear am I carrying alone?
What part of my heart do I want you to understand more deeply?
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